Tag Archive: gender


I graduated college on May 5th. I think. I didn’t bother going to commencement, but I do have a piece of paper.

The first thing that struck me is the fact that there’s nothing on this piece of paper, it just says “Bachelors Degree” and that’s it. Not that it was in English. Or Psych. Or anything else. I could have done underwater basket weaving for all my future employers care, apparently. I always think of that fact when people ask me “HOW DOES IT FEEL TO GRADUATE?”

“It feels like no one actually gave a fuck what I did, just that I put in the time. And it feels like I don’t have to go to class anymore. Yay me?”

To avoid the look that would follow that statement, I only include a part of it: “It feels like I don’t have to go to class anymore.”

People keep acting like this is a huge milestone. I suppose it is, but I didn’t exactly not see this coming. I’ve been working hard at making this happen for five years. It feels like an accomplishment, yeah, but frankly, it isn’t very satisfying or surprising. Or, at least, it isn’t as satisfying as everyone seems to think it should be. I’m not jet setting off to a new and exotic job. I’m not running off to get married and have babies. Those seem to be the big life changes everyone is actually expecting me to go on to and on both counts are being vastly disappointed.

Why does it matter? It doesn’t, really. But I do feel oddly disconnected from the world around me due to how strange my expectations for life seem to be compared to theirs. People seem to expect big changes at these “milestones” and  the only real difference I’ve noticed is now my job is bitching and moaning at me to go full-time, which is pissing me off. I’d like a little time to be left alone and get my shit together. I’d like a small break before I surrender to a lifetime of servitude, thanks. I realize it’s the last one I’m ever going to get.

Anyway, in my little bits of free time my job seems so desperate to take away in the name of moar money because moar, I’ve been reading. Books, magazines, fanfiction, blogs, a bit of everything. I’m trying to catch up on five years of not being able to read anything because I have to plow through plays and text books and frankly, I’m a little disappointed in what I’m finding.

I don’t know how many of you out there are biologically female, but if you are and you’re American, you’ve probably heard of Glamour magazine. It’s one of the less shitty women’s magazines out there, especially next to the likes of Cosmo. 

Or so I thought.

I’ve gotten through two backlogged issues so far and suddenly, see the problem with being a subscriber.

I’ve read the May issue before. Last May, in fact. There was just a different celebrity on the cover. All of the shit inside is the same.

Speaking of, I have a question to pose to biological females that consider themselves to be of the womanly persuasion: Why the FUCK do you let them treat you like this?

If you look inside, everything is about either babies, men, or “fixing” yourself. They tell my friend with small breasts that she needs “ruching” to fix her “lack of curves,” they tell my busty friends that they need “support” to “get the girls under control,” they tell my “curvy” friends with hips that they need to “make themselves look smaller.” Who is this ideal woman they’re trying to make them all look like?

Oh, and furthermore, if you look at your body and realize that you’re not ‘boy shaped’ (i.e. thin) or ‘curvy’ (i.e. Girl code for “fat,” I’m quickly learning) and go “hey! There’s nothing wrong with me. So, Glamour, what should I wear?” You will receive nothing but resonant silence in response. If there’s not something “wrong” with you, they want nothing to do with you. According to them, there’s always something wrong with you. And it needs to be fixed, because otherwise HOW will you get to find a man and get married and have babies and have OMG THE PERFECT LIFE?!!111!!

… Why do you let them do this to you? Here. Go check out Curve or Bust. I know they’re probably a little weird, and one is rather queer (Curve), but in leafing through their pages in the book store, I don’t feel like I’m a failure at womanhood because I want to pursue a life that is mine, not ruled by who I find attractive, by what I think is wrong with me, or by children. There’s stuff about kids and womanhood in there, but the approach is less forceful. It’s information about pregnancy and kids, but it doesn’t imply that “OMG IT’S THE HIGHEST HONOR ANY WOMAN CAN HAVE AND ANYONE THAT HATES KIDS IS A FREAK AND YOU SHOULD WANT BABIES NOW RIGHT NOW HAVE BABIES NOW.” They have articles about sex and sexuality that are not dictated by how to please your man, but how to have pleasure as a couple, or, hell, how to pleasure yourself. Some of the shit in the magazines is pretty out there, granted, but so is a lot of the shit in Glamour. 

For those of you of the less womanly gender persuasion, I would recommend hopping over to your local Barnes and Noble, and pick up a copy of the British version of GQ. No, put the American GQ down. Trust me on this one. You want the British one. The girls are less fake (and therefore, much hotter) and the writing is hysterical and high quality. I have never laughed so hard at a magazine, and that’s even with missing half the jokes because I’m a Yank. Everything in there breathes, it’s fresh, and most importantly, it doesn’t make you feel like shit about yourself. Much like Curve and Bust don’t belittle women, Brit GQ doesn’t seem to suffer from the same stupidity the American one does of making men into someone they’re not. There are health tips and things, yeah, but when they talk about clothes, it’s about the clothes, the watches, the ties, not about “look how awesome Johnny Depp looks in these. Now, you’ll never be as good-looking as him, BUT here are some clothes so you can pretend.”

Now then, I’m going to go off and catch up on some more reading, and see if I can work out a plan to blog on here weekly again. If you have any other alternative magazines, please leave them in the comments so I and other folks can try ’em out. Doesn’t matter if they’re for girls, boys, or fish. Tell me what you like to read, and I’ll go check them out.

P.S. If you want to check out the actual, physical magazines I’ve listed here, try your local Barnes and Noble Bookseller’s. I can find all three of those mags there, even in the conservative, Midwestern area I live in.

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Whelp, I covered the Glee gay kiss causing an uproar, so I think I should at least make comment on this event, even if it IS a bit late.

So. For those of you that live under a rock like me, please watch this:

Toemageddon 2011

Or, for those that don’t like watching videos (I know I don’t most of the time) here’s the quick rundown: A J. Crew ad sent out to consumers via e-mail contained a picture of woman laughing with her son, who has pink painted toe-nails. The quote underneath (the ad is shown here) says “Lucky for me, I ended up with a boy whose favorite color is pink. Toenail painting is way more fun in neon.”

Some “psychologists” are “slamming” (as the news outlets so love to say) this ad. According to some, it is “transgender child propaganda.”

Let me explain something to those not well versed in psychology– Nothing MAKES anyone gay or transgender. They were born this way, baby. If you believe otherwise, you’re working with an outdated or outright wrong definition of what it is to be transgender.

References to Lady Gaga aside, it is true, at least in the articles I’ve glanced on the subject and classes I’ve taken, none of which I’ve saved, and thus cannot give you as proof. Thus, I will totally understand if you are skeptical on this particular point: transgender brains are actually similar to the brains of the sex they believe themselves to be, for whatever reason. I don’t pretend to know how or why, but even without that particular point to support it, nothing MAKES anyone transgender.

Being transgender seems to me to be innate for two reasons: It has been around throughout history and those that are transgender cannot seem to repress it. One can argue, I suppose, that describing it as something that cannot be controlled makes it a psychosis. However, I would then ask you what the hell heterosexuality is, as it is something that cannot be controlled either. You may really, really want to swear off women and their crazy antics, but you’re just not attracted to men? You can’t control that. You’re great at art, but bad with math? Can’t control that either.

All that said, it is very possible for someone to be a dipshit like me to not realize I can be considered a transgender individual (though I am bi-gender or genderqueer, not the full on “my gender doesn’t match my sex– it’s the opposite” transgender or transsexual person) until late in life. I never knew there was a name for why I didn’t feel like a woman per se, but I also didn’t feel like a man. That said, it is very possible to do what I do (enjoy crossplaying (cosplaying as a character of the opposite sex and try to pass as that sex), idolize males/have male role models) and be completely comfortable saying “I’m a woman!” Identifying as being of the female gender does not say you have to like what “real women” are gender stereotyped as liking. It simply means you say “I am a woman.” It is something self-defined, and therefore, very personal. Some would argue it is simply an opinion or a perception. While this may be true, our perceptions of ourselves are all we have. Actual, factual, untainted, unbiased facts about ourselves and our thought processes cannot be found in ourselves or someone else. Science is getting closer to being able to have some sort of “proof” that someone is gay or transgendered, be it from something that happened during fetal development or due to differences in brain wiring, but for now, if someone has this belief for an extended period of time, it is considered Gender Identity Disorder, which one has to be diagnosed with to be officially, medically considered transgender.

Back on topic here: Pink Toenails do not a transgender or gay son make. And furthermore, Dr. Ablow and accompanying wench: it is not an “attack on masculinity” or a “blurring of gender lines.” No, kids, the gender lines are still there, and as blurry and indistinct as ever. What is being “attacked” by this ad is the assumption that traditional gender roles/stereotypes should dictate if someone should be excluded from activities due to being a biological male or female.

Something about kids I picked up in my stint in a child psych class: As kids grow up, they “try on” different roles to see if they fit them. When my father shaved his face, I tried imitate him with a Popsicle stick and soap. When my mother was making macaroni, I went and found a bowl and started trying to mush noodles and water and American cheese slices together. When I saw the burlesque mouse in The Great Mouse Detective, I spent nights dancing around in a ballet costume on a “stage” made of my fireplace, singing and dancing. Did this mean that I wanted to be a man, or a cook, or a burlesque dancer? No. It meant I saw the role and tried it on like a hat, nothing more.

That is exactly what this kid is doing with pink toenails. Mommy does it, so he was curious if it was fun, most likely. What he likes about it probably has little to do with his favorite colors being on his toes– it has to do with the fact that he gets to spend time with mommy doing what his mommy does that makes her happy, that he probably perceives as being a “grown-up” activity because he’s not allowed to play with nail polish on his own. It is not because he is a “sissy” or in any way not a boy! For those that didn’t watch the John Stewart “Toemageddon” clip, he points out that a pro wrestler paints HIS toenails black. Is this big, burly guy that can win wrestling matches a sissy? Is he a girl? No. Though I have no idea what this wrestler’s personal gender identification is, I’m willing to guess it’s probably masculine. His gender identification is unaffected by the activities he participates in, be it toe painting or wrestling. If he identifies as a man, he is a man. The end. His biological sex has nothing to do with what his personal gender identification is.

As a transgender friend of mine pointed out: “It’s not the fact that Fox News is portraying this as an attack on masculinity. It is the fact it is on EVERY news network and they are ALL portraying this as valid news– that there is some controversy to be had here! There’s NOT!”

So, I thought it was important to address this insanity. This is, in fact, NOT news. A little boy painting his toe nails is not news-worthy. It is not “covering” anything, it is a public attempt at shaming a mother whom is unashamed of her son questioning what he enjoys in life, stereotypes be damned. This ENTIRE new story centers on one thing, and it is what I have already covered in my post on gender early on in this blog: Adult males feel threatened in their gender identity by their sons being allowed to play with dolls and glitter when their father would have beat them for doing the same. It is envy. It is seeing their son’s freedom to choose what they want to be and do without their gender identity being questioned or threatened and wanting to destroy it because these men never had that as children. This has NOTHING to do with this little boy and his mother– it has everything to do with adult men upset that society no longer condones beating up the queers, sissies, and fags to try to make them into “men” as strongly as it once did. It no longer perpetuates this particular brand of rigid gender roles and hatred for those that do not conform as strongly as in, say, the 1950s.

Make no mistake, ladies and gentlemen. This is all about trying to tear away the new-found freedoms of our sons and daughters have– which are tiny, tiny victories in the fight for freedom to simply exist and be different, by the way. This kid, if he is gay or transgender, will face hell, just as the prior gay and transgender people of the world did. But for some people, the simple fact that those gay and transgender kids are not beaten severely as they once were for being different makes them feel insecure and upset with themselves and society.

All of this is about one thing: Men questioning if the stereotypes they forced themselves to conform to in order to be accepted are wrong. And if so, if they did force themselves to conform that way when it is different from what they were, if they were forced to suppress who they are, it is now all for nothing. Now you can be a boy and paint your toes.

It’s utterly pathetic that the only news that recognized all of this as the lashing out of insecure men and nothing that should be taken seriously is the fake news, where nothing is taken seriously.

It has been a strange, partly bad, partly good week. I started at a new job and, to my surprise, my tendency to just be hated on sight by women in an office environment was NOT limited to my summer cube job or various random interactions– no, it was that way here, too. This was not helped by the fact that the woman kept going over and over how “wonderful” a Christian establishment this place was (wish they’d advertised that one a little better) and being downright surly toward me. You want to be religious, that’s fine, but when your workers can only wear some sort of religious medallion to work as jewelry, there’s problems. Not a good idea to stay here long, methinks. Here’s hoping things are better away from this woman, who is technically not in my department.

Upset that I had somehow managed to offend this woman simply by existing, while trying to be very nice, all smiles, cooperative, etc. I fucking risked my life to come in that day, with heavy snow, poor visibility, and wind chills of -20+. I asked my friends what it was that was wrong with me, that, despite all that, this woman took one look at me and started being short, curt, and in some ways, downright mean. The answers were, frankly, surprising to a pessimist like myself.

I got that I was pretty and she was jealous, that I was too smart and it annoyed her, that I had the “Audrey Hepburn Effect,” defined as a quiet elegance that made common people feel common, and thus, acutely uncomfortable. I was amazed that so many people saw some sort of good in me. When I seemed surprised at the outpouring, one person commented that “the hardest thing in life is to see our own beauty and worth.”

It got me thinking in what may seem to be an arrogant, self-absorbed fashion. I’ll try my best not to let it be.

The thought was this: If I accept this idea that these things are true, why the fuck is it so difficult for me to get a job at every turn? Why is it that when I get a job, women just take one look at me and decide I’m evil?

I heard a variety of theories on this one too, the most common of which was that if a younger female arrives at a job, the elder, higher up woman immediately gets territorial and assumes the younger one will take their job. Some proposed that these women assumed I was after even more than their job, that I would somehow turn people against them or take things away from them because I’m considered more “attractive” than they are, and the younger didn’t help matters. Another is that they figure that because some would consider me “pretty” that they have to be extra hard on me, lest I think I can get away with whatever I want, because, everyone knows, pretty girls get off everything easy. Especially with men.

Really? There’s a reason I prefer working with men. They’re not batshit insane. They don’t shriek that at every turn people are keeping them “down” or discriminating against them, or bitching that a man finding them attractive, even if it is just their eyes lingering on a girl for a few seconds, sexual harassment. They don’t piss and moan that life is so *hard* for them because they’re not Megan Fox or who the fuck ever the star du jour is today. Furthermore, you know what? Males get over what I look like. It generally goes like this:

Male Coworker/friend: *awkward*
Me: I’m taken, yes these are real, yes they’re D+ cups, no you won’t ever touch them. Hand me that box, please.
MC: *blink* oh! Um…
Me: Don’t apologize. I don’t care. Admire if you want, just don’t let it interfere with work.
MC: *gives box* Okay. [insert job smalltalk here]

Naturally, it doesn’t always go that way (The situation I speak of above is in a very casual environment, not an office and CERTAINLY not with a supervisor. But the point is, If I don’t give a shit, or try to play it to get favors, or whatever, they get over it. They leave me alone. They treat me like their male coworkers, complete with lewd jokes and everything else because I DON’T CARE. Women, however… if you aren’t a part of their church/branch of military/daycare group/have kids to chat about they just hate you. That was the main problem at my summer job: Lady, I don’t give a fuck about your kids. Frankly, I think it’s unprofessional you bring them to work and then walk them around the office expecting everyone to “aww” at them. No, I don’t care that you’re pregnant. I don’t care when you’re due. I don’t care about your wedding, or your friend’s. I care about coming here, getting my shit done, and being left alone to do my job.

I wasn’t impolite and blunt as I’m being here, mind you, I just expressed no interest and made no motion to get involved in the office gossip pool. I didn’t care. That bothered the living shit out of them. They LIVE on office drama, why don’t I?!

It’s really quite simple: I’ve got better things to do with my life. If you don’t, then I think you need a serious rearrangement of priorities.

However, I’m contradicting myself. I make it sound like they spoke to me often, thus contradicting my statement they detested me on sight. They DID speak to me. They did, in passing, after I had been there a while. Mostly to gloat and go “OMG, LOOKY I GOT ENGAGED” when they did so to everyone, despite not liking me. However, when I didn’t fawn over them, it reinforced, I guess, what they initially thought: That I’m a terrible, cold, stuck up bitch who doesn’t care about making friends because I’m out for their job.

My male supervisor? He was FINE. He called me in when I fucked up, complimented my team’s work when it was spectacular. My teammate and I made friends with the IT guys and joked around with them because they liked computers and vidyagames, especially Mario. Guys were cool, civil, decent human beings and didn’t expect me to take non-work time to discuss things that were non-work related. We saw each other on breaks, on lunch. They didn’t come around to my cubicle squealing to their friends “OMG, MAH BABEH JUST KICKED I’M SOOOO EXCITED!”

Women in the workplace scare me. It’s why I want to get (back) into a mostly male staff. They may ogle my tits when I first show up, but they’ll eventually get past it and act like a human being. Women just hold grudges for fucking ever, and in this case, there’s nothing I can do. I’m not going to cut on my own face and become a Reaver just because you have low self esteem. And you know why?

It’s honestly because if you stopped holding grudges and smiled more often, you’d be pretty too. I’m of the opinion everyone has some sort of beauty about them– yes, outwardly. You have something. It might be smooth skin, a type of grace, great style, quirky taste in accessories– but something about you is attractive to someone. So stop shitting on me because you think I’m “prettier” than you, if that’s what your problem is. I can’t change the genetic configuration of my face. I dress modestly at work, I try not to draw attention to my naturally large chest (but, frankly, short of binding, if I’m wearing a t-shirt there’s not much I can do), I don’t wear lots of make up or anything else. I just want to come here, do my job, and be left alone. I’m not here to steal your job, you fucking lunatic. I don’t want it, and even if I did, I’d much rather earn what I get than try to “seduce” someone to get it.

So how about you lay off the attitude and leave me alone, savvy?

The first is mentioned because it’s what I’ll be rambling about, the second is mentioned because it is part of the reason why I’m up at 6:35 AM writing a freaking blog because I can’t sleep. Yay having a sensitive stomach, eh?

So, here I am, on a highly uncomfortable couch in a friend’s apartment because I’m maid of honor in her wedding and we’re going to a wedding show today. This lovely friend lives with two other girls, another one that is getting married soon as well, and another that doesn’t believe in marriage. As she put it “I’m just going to have fuck buddies the rest of my life. *Shrug*”

Got me to thinking. What is all this hoopla surrounding marriage?

I mean, I get that for a lot of women it’s the one day that they get to flip shit and do whatever they want, and if that includes being brought in on a white sleigh with horses and snow in June, they will freaking do it, never mind how much debt it puts them in. There’s a fair lot of folk out there that say “I have the wedding planned, now I just need the groom” or, worse “I just want to have a wedding!” My friend isn’t like this, thank god, but does this depress anyone else?

I mean, I realize I have a unique perspective: Where I live, I’m not allowed to get married, because two sets of boobies in a relationship is just too much for the Midwest to handle. In my own personal journey of why I should give a fuck about being ABLE to marry my dear girl I’ve discovered a awful big pros to being able to:

1. If I’m knocked the fuck out on a hospital bed, my medical proxy defaults to her, not my parents. Big plus.
2. If either of us get a call of “OHFUCKSHITWENTBAD” and rush to the hospital, neither of us can be shut out under the “family only” bullshit. We’ve discussed this, being the morbid folk we are: If we’re dying, we want the other one there. Period. Sadly, without a(n) (honored) marriage certificate, if they really wanted to, they could shut me out. I can’t deal with that.
3. Suddenly, insurance becomes a lot easier. MANY things become a lot easier, actually.
4. It has the added societal bonus of “It doesn’t matter if you or your church recognize my commitment or who I am– the legal system does. Blow me.”

The first two are the main ones, but the third and forth are awful nice all on their own. Especially that last one.

Here’s what baffles me: A lot of straight folks seem to take this for granted. It’s all about the wedding. The marriage doesn’t factor in. For me, the wedding is just an excuse to have a huge-ass party with all my friends and get to wear over the top clothes I WISH I could wear on a day to day basis. It’s not the main event, and it’s CERTAINLY not worth getting my ass in debt for. I have school for that.

I’m not one of those girls that has been planning my wedding since I was three, and there’s only so much hemming and hawing over place settings I can take before I go “THEY’RE FUCKING NAPKINS, JUST PICK A FUCKING COLOR!”

In the process of helping my friend get ready for hers, I’m realizing just how much that above fact sets me apart from a lot of people. I originally was going to say “sets me apart from a lot of girls” but that implies I belong to that group in some way, which I really… don’t. I sure as hell don’t describe myself as transgender in the sense that I identify as the opposite gender from my sex, but I really don’t identify with that whole…. “girl” thing. Or that whole “boy” thing. Love of make-up and clothes keeps me from identifying as wholly masculine, and love of a being a force “as loud as God’s revolver and twice as shiny” and some of my distinct lackings in femininity keep me from identifying as feminine.

I never realized quite how much that matters until I was in the middle of a group of traditional *girls* that to my knowledge, have no gender conflicts, giggling and squealing over wedding things. There’s just something in the *way* they behave that is distinctly alien to me. I haven’t been that way since high school and… sometimes I miss it. I wish for it now so I could be squealing along with them the way normal girls seem to. I really, really don’t want to fail the wonderful woman that made me her maid of honor. I don’t want to make her feel like I don’t care. It’s just that honestly… something in my brain doesn’t understand how you can pour over things like dresses and colors for so long without a break. I know some of it is that it’s *your* wedding, not mine, but… the traditional floof and tittering is really just lost on my dumb ass that doesn’t understand when my girlfriend facepalms because I eat my ramen out of the pot I cook it in because in my heathen mind, bowls are unnecessary. I mean, the pot is a bowl. It’s even warm! And has a convenient carrying handle! How cool is that?!

BOY KISSES, SAVE US ALL.

http://newsbusters.org/blogs/erin-brown/2010/11/10/media-apathetic-about-glee-s-gay-kiss

Oh gods, here we go again. Those damn gays are taking over entertainment! RUN! RUUUUN!

Where’d I find this absurdity? Doesn’t matter. Take that up with twitter. Here’s what does matter: why is it perfectly fine that Willow and Tara, 13 and her girlfriend for an episode, whatever, kiss but if two individuals with two peni between them do, the world will end?

Ohhh, wait. I forgot what is truly so threatening about “teh gay,” especially the boy variety: it undermines masculinity, which is so dreadfully important in this society.

Think about it. Who’s admired by men? Boys, correct me if I’m wrong, but isn’t it the “stud,” the jock that can lift the most, or, among the nerds, someone with intellectual power like Stephan Hawking? Aren’t male oriented videogames games like Halo, Call of Duty, Metal Gear? Aren’t they military based? Aren’t soldiers supposed to be the perfect men?

Ah, shit, but I’m edging too close to the military, and that gets into my ranting about Don’t Ask Don’t Tell. To nip that in the bud, I don’t think it matters whose butt you stare at, you wanna serve your country, you should be allowed to do it, the end. Back to the point at hand.

The view of relationships is that there are two roles: masculine and feminine. This is based upon the fact that society tends to cast relationships in male/female roles, understandably, because heterosexuality is the norm. Therefore, if you have a gay relationship, someone’s gotta be the girl. We can’t have that.

But why does it matter? Well, go back to my post on gender. If one man is allowed to kiss boys, to be what is perceived as “feminine,” then that means that… *gasp* … you don’t have to be “masculine” to be a man! OH GODS. It doesn’t matter if this perception is correct or not, some gay couples are very one is masculine, one feminine, but some aren’t. So are some heterosexual couples. But the point is, it pisses off men to have a man, ANY man, do something girly because it undermines what they view is important, which is being considered masculine. Again, go back to my gender post. It is really all explained in there.

However, two girls kiss, it’s like a double dose of feminine. Straight men tend to view it as “hot” because they don’t see a masculine and feminine there, from what folk have told me. They just see two girls kissing. It only matters when guys kiss because then, the couple thing kicks in and their brains start screaming that “THAT AIN’T RIGHT! COVER THE CHILDREN’S EYES! THEY MIGHT CATCH TEH GAY, WHICH WOULD MAKE IT OKAY FOR BOYS TO SEW AND SING SHOW TUNES!”

So, why is it a problem that boys kiss on tv? Those that hold up masculinity as important, as an ideal, are threatened by what is considered “abnormal” interrupting their main stream TV program, because that means that it is becoming more acceptable. Thus, they can’t beat up on the girly kid at school anymore and have everyone laugh with them. It means that the rest of the world doesn’t explicitly agree with their point of view that men have to be men or they are worthless.

Let’s face it, a male view still dominates in a lot of ways. I hate to admit it, but it does. Thus, this is a big fucking deal, because, frankly, they can’t fap to two men kissing. It makes them feel all bad inside, because if it’s acceptable, their grunting, neolithic mind state is wrong, or at the very least, not completely correct. This can upset some people’s entire LIVES, if they have been practicing to be “a real man!” their whole lives. It screws with their ENTIRE perception of reality. So what is their solution?

That’s easy. Beat it with a stick until it dies. That’s what “real men” would do, right?

Gender

Watching House season five, episode where the kid has XXY chromosomes and the parents have been lying to him that he’s a normal boy for thirteen years while pumping him full of testosterone.

Gender is an odd, tricky thing. Not because we internally make it that way… not until society says we have to, anyway. I’m an odd gender twist myself, though I didn’t realize it until rather recently.

My mind wandered down this road because if a kid wants to be a boy or a girl, I’m of the opinion it shouldn’t matter. Why should it matter if an individual with a penis wears a skirt, likes dance? What does it matter? Why should you have to have a clearly defined gender? I know that having a biological problem like this kid does can cause all sorts of health problems, sure. But on the question of assigning sex at birth… aside from the “why don’t I fit in the binary?” question, I don’t see why it matters. Probably because I object to the binary as defined by society, not science.

We have come a long way, of course. Women can wear pants. But if a man wants to do ballet, cheerleading, be a stay at home dad, or something else “emasculating” we mock him. A woman doesn’t want kids, or puts her relationship with her husband/wife above her kids, or generally isn’t catering to her kids’ every whim, we mock her. Why? Why does it matter?

Yes, yes, biology defines certain roles. Men and women’s brains are wired differently. However, when we come across an exception to the rule, why does it matter? Because it’s abnormal?

People hate what they don’t understand, that’s all I’ve got. They dislike things that go against the norm. It takes some sort of brain capacity to try to realize not everyone is just like you. It takes valuable time you could be devoting to picturing your boss’s wife/husband naked or thinking about if Brad and Angelina are broken up yet. Such a pain in the ass. Plus, if a woman can be masculine, or a man feminine, it threatens YOU if you identify as one of those. Why? I’m still working that one out. Best I’ve got is that no one wants to think that a man can make a better cherry pie or that a woman can build a better Chevy. However, if that person, while they don’t fit the genetic map of male or female, but identify as a man or woman, is it still a problem? Yes. Why? The impression is that sex and gender should be the same. Is this the way it should be? Is this right? In most cases, probably, but in some it is not. Should we update the rule to suit the minority? Maybe not, since it’s most often true. But if we come across and exception to that rule, then we should accept that it is an exception and go on, not try to mash that exception into the same hole we put everyone else in and hit it when it doesn’t fit.

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