So, I’m really, REALLY glad I’m quitting my current job. And now, after a hefty shot of good whiskey, I’m gonna tell you why.

I work for a retirement home as a server. Management is a bunch of useless assholes. That’s to be expected in my experience, no offense to any management in the audience, but good managers are rare.

Tonight, we didn’t have a normal meal service. Tonight, I was used as tits and ass as a part of a grand scheme of lies to lure new residents into the home. The way they presented things was that you got a restaurant quality meal every night (sort of true) with wine (not true) and a fancy dessert (not true), and that “lovely ladies” would serve it to you.

How do I know I was being pimped out, you ask? Well, a few reasons.

1. All the servers tonight were slender and could be considered traditionally pretty/attractive.
2. All the servers were white (if any of you know me from Retail Hell Underground, you know of the racist assholery that goes on at this job. Our only server of Asian descent, for example, was expected to like and eat “Chinese” food daily, and our only African American server was referred to as a “negro” by a resident. In both these instances I applauded these ladies offended for not fucking hauling off and slugging the fucking people that said these things. There’s also a lot of fun blatant homophobia at this good “Christian” (seriously. They stressed that about ten times in orientation) business.)
3. All four of the servers of tonight were scheduled for tomorrow as well. This never happens. And the people that are off did not request for the time off.
4. Another server came down to help us and was quickly shooed away when we *did* need help. She is not ugly, certainly, but she has a kid and is not a teen to twenty something that looks cute sashaying around with plates of food while being forced to smile and make small talk.
5. Current residents were not only told to find their own food tonight if they were “independent living” residents, but they were shooed out of the hallways so they would not be seen with their walkers and canes. More proof they wanted everything to look “pretty” rather than like a retirement home.
6. The general atmosphere of “shut up and smile and look pretty.”
7. I was the oldest server. I’m twenty-two.

This revelation occurred to me as we were walking back from being applauded for being such lovely young servers, right after they failed to say that there were more things unusual about the meal service that night than just the specially made dessert which was a “special occasion thing” (bullshit). All of them, except me, were the ones that wore make-up to work every day, that styled their hair. Only one could be considered even a little heavy, when in reality, she’s average sized. But not one of us could be called ugly, not even in hairnets and ugly uniforms. We were the ones that the male residents flirted with, that the little old ladies tried to set up with their grandsons.

I’m fucking pissed off. I’m not pissed off just because I was used as T&A. No, if that’s part of my job description, then fine. If it’s in my job description to look pretty, fine, then I see that as a requirement of the job just like being able to stand for 8+ hours or whatever. I’m pissed off because my attractiveness was used to lie to people, making me a co-conspirator with these fucking assholes I work for. I’m pissed off that I was used to lie. I realize all of this falls under the realm of advertising (a business of lies) because they were trying to recruit new customers and the buyer must beware, but I’m still fucking pissed. I feel like a whore. I don’t appreciate being trotted out as some little show puppy for you to lure people into your business under false pretenses and tricking people using the beauty equals good hypothesis.

This is all on top of the fact I have caught my managers blatantly lying to me about scheduling, on top of the fact they make us come into work sick when we’re working with the elderly (whom are immunocompromised) thus endangering their customers, on top of all the racist, homophobic bullshit, and on top of the fact that the bulk of management are uselessly catty bitches who play favorites and are either just cranky on a good day or outright two-faced cunts on bad days. This is all while being paid 7.70/hr to be bitched at, complained at, glared at, and treated like shit by residents and knowing that even if a resident jumped up and started to strangle me, if I raised a hand to defend myself, I would be shitcanned. No joke. Ask anyone who works in a retirement home, it seems to be a common rule.

Fuck this fucking job. I’m so glad I’m fucking leaving and being paid a living wage. Even if I am in call center hell, at least I’m out of this goddamn place.

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